Career/Life Crisis

I want to photograph. I really do. I like to document things, post it, and proclaim is as residual of my artwork. I want to be an artist. Unfortunately, I find expressing myself very hard. Expressing myself is something I can’t do in a daily basis. I want to create something genuine. Something that will make people in awe.

I am definitely going to be an undergrad. Nursing that is. This is what I do. More like, trying to honor my parents’ value and standards as hard-working immigrants. Something that I can’t question or defy. I feel obligated. I feel like it must be done. I feel like, I’ve never pleased my parents. And this is the only way that I can pay them back. Twelve years of tears and struggle. People don’t understand me. Why I take things to heart. Why I’m so hard on myself. Why I’m never content. I hide everything with a smirk. Laugh, which I constantly do. I try not to waste my breathe. More-less, I have nothing else to say. I grew up too early. Fuck.

On the bright side. I’m going to have more time for myself. Hence, more photographing (I really fucking wish so) less procrastinating, read, run, daydream, contemplate, be comfortable.

I can practice cooking. Because everybody knows, I have my heart in culinary too hahah